By CHRISTOPHER ABEL For The Outpost
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then “Takers,” directed by John Luessenhop, who seems to know a lot of rapper artists, is as sincere as a heart attack. Borrowing its best bits from no less than three better pictures, the movie has hardly anything new to say, aside, perhaps, from how much it really admires that feather down-filled hotel shootout scene from “True Romance.”
The film centers on a gang of prodigiously skilled bank robbers; they’re so professional that they hardly spare the exploding helicopter directly behind them a second glance. That it disturbs their clothing, if ever so slightly, is merely a matter of physics.
The leader is Gordon (Idris Elba), but feel free to call him “G.” He’s the brains of the operation, deciding which jobs to take and which present too great a risk.
Usually, the robbers take a year off to drink scotch and buy fancy cars, but when an old colleague, recently released from prison after a heist went south several years back, reappears with a score too good to be true, the off-season may have to wait.
This old associate, Ghost (Tip “T.I.” Harris), can’t exactly be trusted, but then, he could have turned snitch and lightened his own sentence. He kept quiet, so Gordon agrees to at least hear him out. If you guessed that Ghost will probably double cross everyone in the end, you win a prize.
I can’t tell you much more about the other players – Hayden Christensen wears a funny hat, Paul Walker looks pensive, Michael Ealy worries about his younger brother (Chris Brown), who does whatever big brother says, and Zoe Saldana forms one of the points to a love triangle. There simply isn’t much more to tell.
Representing the slightly brighter side of the film’s moral grayscale are detectives Welles (Matt Dillon, always in hot water with Internal Affairs) and his less seasoned partner, Hatcher (Jay Hernandez). Welles has trouble putting family before the shield, and Hatcher has a sick kid, so there’s their character development.
When I say “Takers,” with four credited writers, borrows from better heist movies, it isn’t even kidding itself. The plan to capture an armored car by blowing up a section of Los Angeles street as it passes is lifted directly from “The Italian Job,” but Ghost makes a deliberate reference to that movie as he describes his plan. They must have TBS in the joint.
The film’s third (if I’m being generous) inspiration is Michael Mann’s quintessential heist flick, “Heat.”
But that movie gave us reasons to care about both the crooks, who knew no other way to make their living, and the cops, who knew no other way to make theirs.
Granted, Mann’s film takes an extra hour to unfold, but I would gladly have invested the time in “Takers” if it meant a significant return.
I can’t say Luessenhop’s film is a particularly bad one: He hits all the right action beats, and the performances, while bland, fill all the genre requirements, but there are three better movies that this one feebly apes. Your time would be better spent with any one of them.
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